Rain rain go away

Rain. There's something so sad about rain, but yet so beautiful. I'm not gonna go all poetic, cause I know you know what I mean!

Rain is good. It makes me feel not too bad about staying home for the weekend. Haven't gone out for the weekend for ages. Cause I'm a loser with no one to go out with. Bleagh.

Alternating between trying to cram in some snippets of knowledge from the textbook, and distracting myself on the computer with STOMP forums/Prison Break/MSN/blog surfing. Yeah, that's my sad sad life.

Somehow I think I'd be happier with some more friends I can really relate to, rather than spending my time on STOMP forums. No offense to you all - I love all you people over there - but I guess I wouldn't be so glued to the forums if I had real-life (a.k.a. 'live-action' if you watch Drawn Together) people I can talk to.

And so to distract myself from this distraction (wha...?) I decided to go for a run in the cool post-rain weather. The weather really helps, cause I managed to push on all the way to Lower Peirce Reservoir, which is a big achievement for me, a guy who simply, uh, can't run. Turned out that all the recent efforts in achieving a longer-living me had paid off, especially all those bike rides.

Saw a couple having their wedding photos taken in the grey weather, which was a little sad because it's one of their big, once in a lifetime days but too bad it had to be ruined by the weather.

Made my way back home lungs burning and throat burning. Through Bishan Park. I have this thing about me, an ego thing - I have to overtake every single female in front of me, even if thatscrews with my pacing. I guess, it won't look too good to lose to a female in terms of something males are supposed to be better at. Was really bushed after all those overtaking attempts, all of which were successful today.

Yay I'm getting stronger! On towards a healthier me! I really don't want to die a premature death. My blood pressure's on the high side, and hopefully I can fix even that.

Chasing Buses

Not having lessons today, I finally had time for my long-delayed bike ride.

Mashing on the pedals of my bike, zipping up hills and zooming down inclines is really theraputic to me. I need my regular fix, just to clear my mind, have something to focus on, vent some energy.

Didn't really ride for long today though, as I exhausted myself out too early, chasing buses.

It's quite a pleasant feeling really, tailing the butt of a bus, hopefully being able to get a good draft so I can tail it all the way to the next bus stop, where I overtake it. Then the bus overtakes me again, and I tail it again. Getting a good draft means that you can sometimes reach 40kmh almost effortlessly. Don't do it too many times though, for it'll irritate the bus drivers. They have feelings too!

So I mashed my way up the hills of Upper Thomson Road and Sembawang Road. Like that road, sheltered by trees all over, with nothing except me and the roaring traffic around.

I guess I tried too hard cause I bonked out on the way back. Bonking out is a horrible feeling. It's like, my energy was so rapidly sapped away, it felt lke my legs couldn't move anymore. And it wreaks havoc on one's emotional well-being too. Bouts of crying have been documented in bicycling forums in a serious bonk. It just felt like I had every happy though robbed from me.

And to top it all off, this SMRT bus had to horn at me for 3 seconds, then overtake me with less than a foot's distance away from me, which was extremely dangerous. Had it been a bendy bus I'd bet that the tail would've hit me. Hey, I was just on the road minding my own business when I had to be harassed by a rogue driver.

The bus went into the bus stop and I overtook it, and a moment later, it did the same thing to me, except without horning. I was incensed, I was irritated, I was frustrated. The bonk also added to it all.

Then I just took damn near the whole lane the next time I was ahead, so it had no choice to give me a wide berth. But it felt really crappy. It's like, my life's so worthless and all, that anyone can threaten my safety or even kill me. Just like that.

Doesn't matter who I am, what I do, if they don't know me they'd just ram me down all the same. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but anyway, it just sucks.

Oh and Ryan sent me a MMS! Haven't received one ever since, uh, I can't even remember? Yay that cheered me up.

Evil mutant grasshoppers

The last time I had checked, evil mutant grasshoppers from the Planet Gilazord aren't part of the Chinese mid-autumn festival.

Way to go for rewriting history!

Tired

Tired tired so tired feeling the tingling tiredness throughout my whole body.

My day started at 4.20am . Yeah. No kidding. I couldn't stay awake (like always, damn insomnia!) Stared out of the window, at the lighted corridors of the block opposite, alert like an owl. There was no way I could fall asleep, so I got up - and decided to bulldoze my way through that case write-up that had been bugging me for so long. Picked up my 2 buddies, Kumar and Clark, and dived right into work. Man, I was so damn groggy but it was really productive, and I bulldozed my way through so it's 90% complete now!

5.30am and my dad woke up and barged into my room and thought that I was going insane.

5.45am and my mom woke up and barged into my room and thought that I was going insane.

6.00am and it's breakfast. Showered, changed up, got stuff for school ready and got ready to board the bus.

On the bus, I prepared some notes for the first case presentation I had to do today - still bulldozing through! Had some sudden revealation about the case presentation. Perhaps it's the distraction of being groggy that made my mind wander just enough to think of it! Finished it. Tired, felt tired, and just stared at the buildings whizzing by. gonococcus's being productive today eh?

Reached my destination, then went to check up some stuff there and - tada - my sudden revealation turned out to be true! Yay. In no time I found myself being really busy immersed into other tasks again. Case presentation for tutorial, it went on quite alright. Then after some more work it was... LUNCH.

Just finished my lunch, when a friend dragged me back to the canteen, for me to just have a chat/ talk cock/crap (whichever word fits this meaning best, I still do not know) with. Love the feeling when my presence is being valued! Me, I winded up crapping more than he did heh. Summary: 1. I should stop bearing a grudge with a certain teacher with a huge ego problem 2. I really ought to be worried to be my recent sleeplessness.

I know I'm probably psychiatric. But seeking 'professional' help, will it be of any use? I'm really cynical about it cause the social stigma would wreak havoc on my life. In addition, one of my groupmates would certainly freak out, the way she's so condescending whenever she mentions any hospital patient with a concomitant psychiatric history.

Back to the tutorial room. Oh crap. Realised that the 2nd case presentation is 3.30pm rather than 2pm since there's another lecture at 2pm! Sigh. An even busier day than I expected. gonococcus can handle it though, no problemo, he's so productive today!

3.30pm. Learnt that I can't really present well in front of crowds. I've been too rusty, haven't been presenting much to crowds lately. :(

4.30pm. Yay relief! Juggling 2 case presentations and 1 case write-up was messing up my mind, almost mixing up facts between cases. Now with my mind clearer and much less tired, I plonked myself in front of the tutorial room computer and crapped a while on STOMP. Then I got bored and, uh, changed the wallpaper of the computer to one of Borat. And looking forward to the STOMP gathering! Though I'm a little uncomfortable with meeting people I don't know. Me, shy.

Ambled a while in Orchard because the bus took a shorter time than expected.

6pm. Orchard. Met up with the STOMP people! I dunno, I'm just not very good with social situations as I hardly have anything to say. Not like there's much to say about my boring life.

It got better as the hours passed! I guess it takes time for me to find my niche within the group. Was quite fun, just hearing what everyone else had to say, and offering ideas now and then. And in no time it was 10+ pm already. The group parted ways, and I was on my way back in the bus. Am already missing them!

And thus I am at home blogging, as tomorrow morning there's no school (how convenient, considering how tired I am). Everything sorta works out well in the end. Not perfect, but I can really live with that!

Today's entry is brought to you by the letter B

B - Z
Busy!

Tragedy

Stupid me. Why do I have to be so weak and lazy?

Still can't get my homework done. And work is piling up. I'm in a mess.

I keep on using online forums and stuff to distract myself and pretend that that mess of work doesn't need to be done.

I just don't have the energy anymore.

This sucks. I just dunno what to do.

Well you probably don't understand what I'm trying to say, but I just need to rant. Sorry.

Random musings on public transport

Damn, the week has started again and I'm drowning in the workload. So here goes my random musings on the way back home.

Luck. What do we make out of luck? Is is some mystical force that's governed by the just and fair powers above, or is it truly random like what the statisticians like us to believe?

Oh well, given the life I live now defies both justice and chance, I don't know.

It'd been a long day and after making a mad rush to the bus - frantic overtaking of people in crowded passageways, taking shortcuts on the grass and all - all I got to see was my bus slowly moving away. Yay so now I'm on a crowded train.


Someone next to me has got a copy of the Straits Times opened to the obits. That NS guy who died recently was there. A reminder to me of the crappy days in NS. Bet you didn't know it, but it was terrible enough for me to start punching the walls. Yeah my fists hurt after that, but no, they didn't bleed. Fortunately, SAF kicked me out shortly after to make me get an education before I go back.

==

Hey my luck ain't too bad. Didn't have to wait too long for the bus I just transfered to. Let's just hope the Braddell traffic isn't too bad.


Bah the traffic's not too hot. Slow. Ok. Finally home. Signing off now!

Sigh

Someone please give me the stength and energy to do my homework! Sigh.

Nothing much to say today.

Singapore Idol's a little disappointing because I'm not rooting for either of these singers. Hady's too polished - there's none of the cute innocent kind of closeness that connects the singer to the audience, unlike let's say Taufik or Daphne Khoo. Jonathan on the other hand is clearly weaker in voice and looks.

Oh well. I'd give the results a miss.

In the mood for fast happy songs

So here it goes: Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Response: Question Music a distraction or encouragment during jogging?

To answer STOMP forums: http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=4015

For me, since I bring one of these items all the time, guess which one I use for my entertainment when I go for a jog?


Yep. The brain. Somehow an earworm just keeps on looping in my head when I go for a run, so I make the best out of it! Hey, I don't have to have to worry about dropping or losing an expensive object (not that I'm saying my brain isn't precious but brains tend not to fall out of the pockets of one's shorts.) And I don't have to coat any earphones with icky sweat.

Today's earworm was Guillemots - Trains to Brazil.

In other news, bad news if you may, I probably am developing some psychiatric pathology. Waking up at 6.45am and not being able to go back to sleep on a weekend, in addition to being poorly-rested, in addition to laying in bed awake from 6.45am to 7.45am feeling utterly crappy, covering my face with the pillow not wanting anyone to see how messed-up I feel, and not having enough energy to pull myself out of bed; are rather sinister signs of psychiatric disorder. Sigh.

Bad day

No picture, cause I'm feeling too crappy to add one.

Some bad days start off alright, then it gets worse and worse as the day progresses. Others, well, they're crap right from the start.

My bad day started when I woke up in the middle in the night all itchy for no reason at all. Scratched and scratched, and managed to get back to sleep, although it was a fitful sleep.

6am came, and I gotta get ready for another day of school. And then I remembered that I had to download this file for today's tutorial thingie, that my schoolmate had the decency to send me at12.46am well after my bedtime. So I rushed through breakfast (had to spend some time microwaving my egg) and rushed to download it into a USB drive. That schoolmate didn't have one.

Rushed out of home feeling crappy already. When I feel like crap I feel uncomfortable looking people in the eye cause they'll see how messed up I am. And then I met that really polite kid neighbour at the lift landing. Felt guilty mumbling a reply to his good morning. I looked down at my grimy black shoes. Oh please don't look at me when I feel down because I really don't want to put on that fake smile to pretend that everything's alright and cheerful.

I got up the bus and squeezed myself into a seat towards the back. Man, the early bus is crowded. Or is it because it's a Friday? Buses on Mondays and Fridays are especially crowded, I wonder why. Perhaps the truanting kids feel that the week would be complete if they turn up only at the start and the end?

Another neighbour boarded the same bus as me. I'm so glad she didn't notice me. No need for any fake smile, I can just be myself and stare at my shoes in the corner of the bus.

Speaking of neighbours I think my next door neighbour looks depressed. I hope she's alright.

The bus ambled towards its destination. The lights kept on turning red right in front of the bus. What a bad day. It sucks when you know that you're about to be late. And the whole damned tutorial is dependent on the computer slides in that USB drive in your pocket.

Reached the tutorial room. Silently loaded up the slides onto the computer while everyone else was busy with their own stuff. Well the tutorial went alright.

The rest of the morning got more and more depressing and dreary. School sucks. Had to bail out halfway in school cause I was just feeling too crappy. Crappy as in anhedonic and emotionally numb, felt like a zombie.

I hate this life.

Reached home and just plonked myself in front of the newspapers and the computer. And thus that's how I spent my whole afternoon.

And then I felt giddy (non-vertiginous giddyness) and developed a dry cough. And my frontal sinuses are tender. Oh great. A upper respiratory tract infection to top it all off.

What a bad day.

Buses

Yay I'm on the bus and it's the evening peak. And. I'm blogging. I've found this third party software that lets me sync messages and stuff with the computer, so now I have one more thing I can do while getting my butt massaged by the vibrations of the bus engine. Buses have become like a second home to me. I spend so much time on them I know every nook and cranny, all the best seats of the common buses on the road. My seat now has good legroom heh, but the guy in front keeps on shifting in his seat and thus whacking the back of his seat on my knees. Peak hour traffic, bah.

Reviews

Screw those arty-farty reviews! My reviews will be down-to-earth, focused on entertainment value and does away with all those oh-this-is-a-work-of-art-because-it-uses-so-and-so-literary-devices.

For today, a song, a book and a graphic novel.

Song: Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (Live in Melbourne 1992)

A short note on this song. This song is one of the most iconic of the grunge era, because, well, it's catchy, it exudes angst and its style broke most of the rock-music conventions of that time.

Kurt's screaming into the microphone "Here we are now, entertain us!" while Grohl pelts out beats so frantic you're so sure his bass-drum foot would be numb by now.

Truly a masterpiece of its time. You gotta listen to it here, along with the other tracks from Melbourne '92. http://www.bigozine2.com/archive/ARrarities06/ARnirmelb.html

Book: Ron Mclarty - A Memory of Running

This book is about a loserish guy who loses his parents in a car crash. And by riding across the USA on a bicycle he rediscovers his life. I like losers. I like bicycles. I like this book.

A little like Annie Proulx's Shipping News since both books have its protagonist rediscovering themselves by understanding their past.






Graphic Novel: V for Vendetta

I don't like it. It's one of those new age graphic novels with corny goth/romantic themes such as the Sandman, and I can never dig the pretentiousness of such works.

V for Vendetta is about a modern Britain where freedom, and the idea of it no longer exist. It's sort of an Orwellian 1984. They cull prostitutes, they write their own news and music doesn't exist. This guy V is a masked man who's supposed to save Britain from that tragedy by using acts of violence to shake up society. Or something.

Gave up on it after 10 chapters.

Tired

Wanted to do a special feature on the latest music, books and stuff I got my hands onto, but I'm just too burned out. Some other day then.

Swords of Damocles

Posed picture

So, what has poor gonococcus got himself to lately? He's on the run again. Those swords of Damocles hanging all over are threatening to kill, and he'd better get out quick!


I'd bet you'd feel the same way with this behemoth inching towards you from the back, approaching with the vigour of a 9.6-litre turbocharged engine. The ominious rumble behind you reaches a cresendo, then goes low again, only to reach another crescendo, then goes low again, and reaches yet another crescendo. It's in its 3rd gear now. 3rd gear means about 35kmh. I look down at my bicycle's speedometer. 38kmh. Oh no it's edging really close!

Then I saw a man from the side of the road put his arm out towards the road and whew, saved by the bus-stop! Before the bus could accelerate all the way and make pancake out of me!

That's a minute in the life of gonococcus on a bicycle. gonococcus was making all of that up. He knows that he's safe, and that there's much greater danger on the roads to be afraid of.

But somehow gonococcus has recently become numb to the dangers of the road.

gonococcus's in the right turn pocket of the junction, right in the middle of the road. 'Oh I think I can make it in time' thinks him, and he recklessly dashes across to complete the turn.

He survives, but it's not like he's consciously trying to survive, so it's sorta creepy that way, cause he's dependent on his visceral animal instincts to stay safe. No thinking, no concern. Just recklessness and instinct.

Is gonococcus being lazy? Probably. But gonococcus ought not to be lazy anymore, as his friends have been injured on the roads before. He should know better.

But then, gonococcus has gotten a little cynical of life you see, and somehow he feels like if he gets knocked down by that shiny white-orange-purple Volvo Olympian, he'd deserve it anyway. Surely there are people on earth who are more deserving of life, who have more ambitions, than gonococcus, but had their lives robbed by cancer, heart disease, accidents or other tragedies?

gonococcus used to be rather self-destructive. But it seems like gonococcus has switched to using reckless bicycling as a weapon of self-destruction. This is not good.

gonococcus had better find some good reason to keep safe.

Bloody 'ell!

Work work work. So much work.

Ok, that's it, take a deep breath
I've got to get out of here
I've got to clear my head
I've got to clear my head

It's all these words, ideas and different arguments
Someone's always talking when I try to make some sense
From all this stress that is constantly going on
I just drift along with no focus or meaning
Lean back, stare up at the ceiling
I just drift along with no focus or meaning
- The Rakes: Work Work Work, Pub Club Sleep

Schoolwork's piling up and the more I look at the pile the more I'm afraid of it. Then i'll just procrastinate. This shouldn't be the way things are - I need motivation!

So I went for a bike ride. The sun was peeking out of the clouds, so that was a good sign.

Until 15 minutes later.



I'm forced to turn back and sprint back home, lungs burning from the exertion. Managed to make my way back to my block when it rained really heavily.

Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning
-Travis: Why does it always rain on me?

Schoolwork. Deadline nears. I panic. Take more deep breaths, sort out things one by one. Juggle a phone call, schoolwork on the criteria of kidney transplantation in Singapore and replying forum messages all at once.

Deep breaths. Or I'll suffocate.

Doctor, examining a patient's chest: Big breaths!
Patient: (Wistfully) Yeah, they used to be.
- Old joke

Spoke to 2 friends on MSN who are now having the time of their lives studying in the USA. I miss them, but what can I do about it?

Sigh.

OK I hope you like the style of today's entry. I'm experimenting with new entry formats to see what really suits me.

Extra strength hair colour

No thanks, I'd rather keep my hair intact rather than make it Vanish or to Wide Bleach it.

So today's the second night I managed to get adequate sleep - not good sleep though - without pharmacological intervention. Yay. But still, I miss being able to fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

In line with my original vision of this blog, I've decided to keep this entry short for all ya ADHD folks out there with 30 second attention spans.

Highlights for the day:
Jogging on a cool cloudy day gives me much more stamina. But I still can't run a decent length. :( I can't stand running but I can't just bicycle cause my muscles will become imbalanced if I do so, leading to joint problems.

Dim Sum in Fortunate Restaurant in Toa Payoh. Dad's sister's birthday. The thing about dim sum is that everything is just full of prawns. Well, you know what they say about too much of a good thing.

Ambled around Toa Payoh with my family. Toa Payoh is a mess today, since it was Project Superstar auditions in the HDB hub today. NTUC was in a mess too, considering the kinds of products they're trying to pass off as hair colour. Crowds are irritating. They push and shove and scream and next thing you know, you're tempted to punch the idiot who's blocking the way in his face.

Home. Tried to hit the books but nothing went in. Then recalled the tons of homework I need to do. What did I do? I did what any normal person would do - procrastinate. Seriously I'm a little worried about my inability to put my heart into my studies.

Bah. I need a bike ride to clear my mind. Hopefully tomorrow morning will be dry for a change.

Down in the dumps

Oh crap. I'm getting old.

My cynicism has reached new heights. That's what my friends tell me, at least. I dunno what's so cynical about what I say, but I guess it's the snide remarks I make about everything - the kind of cynical humour I have.

Just like those old men who keep on making bad jokes on how crappy society is these days.

Oh well, it's not just me. When I was younger I found the newspaper's music reviews to be a crock of pretentious, stiff-upper-lip fodder. (I still think the same way now actually.) But it seems like my friends are now lapping these bands up like they're the best thing on earth. While I'm still listening to crass chart-music.

The old men say, the music I listen to is crap, only kids who don't know better still enjoy it.

And they talk about careers and money. I dunno. I'm just not ready to even think about the idea. The sad idea that the world revolved around money, and in the end, it's all about yourself.

I'm still uncomfortable living in this every-man-for-himself adult life. But what can I do? I'm ageing.

Oh well, screw it, I'll just continue to pretend that I'm still the same me I was when I was 16. In fact, when the times get tough - i.e. now - I tend to regress into a more immature self. And that's not necessarily bad since this 16 year old version of me still remembers how to be creative! Thus all this revival of blogging (to sharpen my rusty writing skills) and photography.

I dunno what to write today.

But for now, here's a photo of the new Volvo B9TL bus that is the latest addition to our roads. What's more, it's wheelchair accessible.

On walking

They say walking soothes the mind, freshens the lungs and cleanses the soul.

Not to me. Walking sucks.

Whenever I have any real distance to walk, I feel like some clumsy public bus ambling through crowded and narrow roads, having to swerve here and there to avoid all the traffic all over.

Rushing from one place to another, from one flight of stairs, to a zebra crossing, to a concrete slope, then across a carpark, et cetra. It's dull. Really dull.

BEWARE. WIDE LOAD.

It's no secret that I'm wider than most people. It's not fat, it's bones! My shoulders are placed rather far apart, and that makes for quite a bit of awkardness whenever I have to pass by someone else along a narrow path.

I really don't see the deal with walking. Dodging people irritates the nerves, hurts the feet and, in a humid climate like Singapore's, makes you sweat and heat up like nobody's business. I hate walking so much, I try to get it over and done with as soon as possible, and in the process, I end up having to dodge and squeeze past even more people, and I get even more sweaty. Stupid you may say, but I really don't see myself trying to enjoy the process of walking.

You know how last time we had those TIBS buses with those huge metal wheel hubs that heated up whenever they braked heavily? And when it rained, the raindrops that fell onto those scalding hubs vapourised into a steaming fog. I feel that exact way after a long walk in the scorching afternoon sun.

I hate walking.

A mess.

I'm a mess.
My hair is a mess.
My table is a mess.
My school life is a mess.
My sleeping pattern is a mess.
The country I live in is a mess.
The society by definition, is a mess.
The complexity of modern jobs is a mess.
The human mind and its limitations are a mess.
The relentless sprawl of traffic networks is a mess.
The emotional well-being of the average man is a mess.
The use of broad patent laws as a commercial weapon is a mess.
The policies governments institute to correct older policies are a mess.
The absurd and unethical acts of modern man makes capitalism a mess.
The kind of conflict that modern life has against old traditions is a mess.
The kind of shallow lives we lead just to bring back food for the family is a mess.
The security measures the country loves to put up to deter the so-called terrorists which actually exist within -and not without- the perimeters of the fense, are a mess.

Reggae isn't dead, ain't no way!

Youtube link.

Insomnia Part Deux

I'm all groggy now. So many nights without proper sleep.

Too groggy to blog.

:(

Insomnia

Yeah I have trouble staying asleep yet again.

Why the hell wakes up on 7am on a Sunday for no reason at all?

Computer gaming

me says:
why does everyone else play dota
me says:
i just dont get it
somebody says:
lol
somebody says:
apparently its cool
somebody says:
i find it stupid
somebody says:
CS more fun
me says:
maple feels relatively more fun
me says:
chop mushrooms
me says:
at least i know i'll be chopping mushrooms in real life

:(

Hi, I am officially freaked out.

Walk into any ward in hospital and you see people in various stages of illness. Some, you know they won't make it for long.

And many of them, boy you'd be surprised, they're young. There's this guy with heart failure who's younger than me. There's another guy I talked to, who had a heart attack at age 30+. And there's this very friendly and cheerful lady who has terminal cancer. She's barely in her 50s. Younger than my parents I think.

It's unfair.

Young people shouldn't die of old peoples' diseases.

Maybe it's just chance. The old adage: Shit happens. But but, how do I reconcile with that? I mean, if everything is random why bother about anything at all? This would really throw all our preconceived notions of good and bad out of the window. All these good people, dying so early, many of them probably deserve life more than I do, if we look at it by the fair, just, good-and-bad way.

The lady with terminal cancer, she's so friendly, not hesitating to tell her story of how she ended up in hospital. She didn't mind the student nurses learning how to affix a stoma bad to her colostomy.

It's bloody depressing when they're so happy and cheerful and all despite looming death. It's so unreal. The happier they are, the more guilty I am for not being happy about my non-terminal-cancer life. It's not fair they should go just like that. It's not fair.

Some day it'll be my turn. Maybe lady luck would give me a long life, maybe lady luck would rob me of my existence when I turn 25, who knows. But the scary thing is, it's way out of my control.

Even if I take the best care of my health, nothing can stop the truck from skidding into me and wiping me out.

I dunno. I'm still pretty freaked out.

I can't even talk about it in real life. It's such a taboo thing, everyone always tries to change the topic and pretends that such an issue doesn't exist. I don't blame them. If that's their way of coping.

And I don't know how the patients in hospital survive, with such foul-smelling food being fed to them.

:(

As a tribute to one of the greatest music videos ever

As a tribute to one of the greatest music videos ever, I bought this at $1.90 at Takashimaya.

Remember the video with those 2 milk packets trying to make their way through the real world? That's Blur's Coffee and TV (Youtube link). Love that music video.

Arctic Monkeys win the Mercury Prize

All I have to say is that
1. I'm glad they won
2. You gotta listen to them
3. Yeah they're really that great.

To all you Pitchforkwhores (link): Surely a mainstream album that got a 7.4/10 can't be that bad?

A Pitchfork review. (link)

Mucky fingers

Tried to get my printer working, but sometimes it works, sometimes it prints a mess of text with white lines all across, and sometimes it just spews ink into the bottom of the cartridge.

And thanks to that:


The stains don't come off easily.

How to write a catchy hook

For all you people who have childhood dreams of being a pop star. Yeah, I saw your expression just perk up. Don't pretend that you never had any dreams!:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/networks/radio1/aod.shtml?radio1/r1doc_tue

Take a listen to this BBC Radio 1 documentary featuring Chris Martin from Coldplay, Grant Nicholas from Feeder and Electric 6 (Gay bar!).

Link expires next Tuesday.

Surreal

No school this morning. Slept in.

Couldn't really sleep. Rain wakes me up, closed the windows, and the room was super stuffy when I did that.

But.

It's so damn freaking nice and surreal when my phone pelts out Razorlight's In The Morning. It's my alarm clock ringtone.

Youtube link - Razorlight's In The Morning

But trust me, the rest of their second album sucks totally. It suffers from the we're-so-big-people-will-buy-our-album-even-if-all-our-songs-sound-the-same syndrome.

Oh crap it's raining again.

Gonococcus's list of: Top 10 Most Hated Foods

10. Red bean soup
Ah, the omnipresent asian desert. To summarise, what they do is to dump read beans in a pot, add water, add sugar and boil the hell outta it. It tastes like some congealed mess of sugar and lumpy debris.

9. Tilapia
This is the bastard son of all edible fishes, the black sheep, the Avril Lavinge of pop, the Mike Tyson of boxing, the retarded son that the parents don't talk about in family gatherings.

Whoever decided that tilapia should be on the menus of most Chinese restaurants must had been smoking a hell lot of opium, because this fish needs generous squirts of soya sauce just to drown out the fishy taste, and even more to give it flavour.

8. Chilli - for the sake of chilli
Singaporeans have this weird habit - they douse everything they eat with dollops of chilli. Whenever I eat at fast food places I have to ask for tomato sauce instead, because everyone assumes that a Singaporean prefers chilli sauce.

Whenever I order food at the hawker centres and ask for no chilli, they look at me funny, like it's blasphemy to eat my food plain. Gee, I really don't see how chilli goes with noodles for example.

7. Bittergourd
Why would anyone want to hurt their tastebuds intentionally. I don't understand.

6. Beansprouts
They're tasteless. They're textureless. They got these irritating bitter roots on them. Please stop sprinkling them on my noodles! I don't hate them enough to pick them out one by one, but my patience is wearing thin.

5. Mushrooms I can't recognise
My parents often cook mushrooms even they can't name. And more often than not they taste like cardboard that's soaked in the rain for a week. Why bother? Sometimes I wonder if those mushrooms are poisonous.

4. Pumpkin
I remember vividly the last time I tried to eat pumpkin. I was working in the ComfortDelgro HQ in Braddell and usually ate at the canteen there.

The pumpkin looked interesting so I ordered it. It was so bad, it ruined the whole meal for me. Trust me I have never eaten another mouthful of pumpkin since.

And strangely it tastes quite a bit like my 2nd most hated food- read on!





3. White rice

Seriously, why do people of this continent eat so much of this odourless, tasteless, textureless, colourless grain. This description may well apply to 100% pure laboratory-grade starch, or even those packing peanuts they fill your carton with when you order stuff from online shops in the USA.

2. Yam


Eeks. It's grey like some dead lung tissue from a smoker who died from pneumonia. It's sticky and icky. And it smells like Clorox. (Not the Lemon-scented Clorox, but the Real Mccoy.) If I have to pinch my nose whenever I walk near it, I for sure won't eat it.

1. Porridge
Med student: So how were you yesterday.
Patient: I vomited, a few times.
Med student: How many times?
Patient: 3 or 4 times, I don't know.
Med student: What did the vomit look like? Was it green, or was it...?
Patient: It looks exactly like porridge, white in colour.
Med student: What did you eat before you vomitted?
Patient: I ate white rice.

Do I look like the kind of person who would eat puke? When I was doing my national service, there were some days when they had porridge for breakfast. On those days I walked out of the cookhouse hungry.

:(

I'm sufferring from hypochondria. Every little twinge and discomfort that me or my family has, I go into panic mood.

Student BMJ link.

:(

DIY haircut

Call me crazy, insane, weird, whatever, but this was what I did.

I gave myself a haircut.

You need two things - a pair of barber's scissors, and a pair of trimming shears. I don't know where my dad bought them but it was a long time ago.

Since I'm no barber, I didn't dare do anything drastic, and mainly went to thin the hair in the middle as it was getting too long to style.

I used the scissors to trim off some excess lengths near the eyes.

And so here's the mandatory before/after photo.



Not perfect, but at least I can stave off the expense of a haircut for another month.

I know how the moon feels

The half moon looked morose, peeking at the world behind the comfort the Earth's shadow. The scars it had withstood throughout its existence, do they ever go away?

I feel like I'm heading for a fall. You know the feeling where you ride down a steep downhill and the wheels keep on spinning faster and faster? And you know you can't brake as you'd skid off the slippery path. Plummeting, plumetting, without anything in the way. At first it feels good, then the fear comes and then you hit rock bottom.

I wish I could do better in school. I wish I were somebody.

Wish I had the energy and the drive. Wish I knew what to do. I don't want to sigh and watch the world go while I hide by myself in a corner.

I know how the moon feels.

Why I can't stand the MRT

Creative EP-630 - a quick review

So my ageing Panasonic HJE50 aren't going to last much longer. It has already gone through 3 surgeries, 2 to re-glue the shell together, 1 to remove the dirty and gunked-up cloth filter that was blocking all that sweet music inside. I don't think it'll survive another surgery. So I had to get another pair of canalphones.

Oh wait, isn't this supposed to be a quick review? Ok I'll get to the meat straight.

Pros: These are loud earphones. Much louder thn my already-loud HJE-50. This pair of earphones has good amounts of bass and treble, although it doesn't reach as low and as high as the HJE50.

In addition, they're really light. And costs only $38 at the Creative booth in Comex 2006. That by itself makes this earphones extremely tempting, as they have often been compared with earphones twice its price.

Cons: While these earphones have plenty of bass and treble, it's not spread smoothly across the spectrum, causing everything to sound quite artificial. It's not all bad, but this problem makes voices sound totally unlike the original.

Another thing I have a beef with is its inability to reproduce the sweet overtones of drums. The bass drum sounds like an axe being forcefully swung into a log. Loud, but lacking character and punch. The toms and snares sound dead - without the resonant ring that usually goes with them.

The cable is a Y-cord, which doesn't make sense considering that almost every manufacturer empraces the J-cord design that lets you loop the cable for the right earphone behind your neck. A Y-cord hangs in front of your neck, causing great inconvenience.

gonococcus's verdict: Good value, fun to listen to, but lacks accuracy.

4/5 Stars.