A short note

The Step-Up outing on Saturday night was so sweet! The movie rocked. Great story, great pacing, great choreography, great camerawork and great acting! Honestly I hafta give it 4.5 stars out of 5. Can't really fault it can I?

Was thinking about it and well, I really can't live without the STOMP pals I've made so far. I'm like super thankful because they're like 80% of my social life now! I guess, it's like the people from STOMP are rather likeminded people (since we're on the same forums in the first place) who all want a little more company? It's so sweet that most of us are willing to just hear each other out. That's something I really treasure. A listening ear.

Really, I'm too scared to imagine how messed up my life'd be if I didn't have these pals to talk to. Especially since I've been having a rough patch these past months.

So, uh, thank you STOMP pals!

Why I am a cyclist

Biycling. I've been a fanatic of sorts when it comes to bicycling, despite my lardy and unathletic self.

My first memory of being on a bicycle was when I was about 7 years old, on a yellow bicycle with bright-yellow solid plastic wheels and tyres, going around in circles in the void deck of the HDB block with training wheels.

Dad wasn't very forgiving. He insisted I mastered the techniques of bicycling from yound, getting the cornering spot-on, keeping to the left of the cycle path and all. Even when I fell and hurt my wrist badly, he forced me to suck it up and go on despite. It was painful.

I got weaned off the training wheels some time later and started to go out to the parks and all. Fortunately despite the painful way I learnt bicycling, I never shunned it.

When I was about 10, dad sometimes fetched me from school riding his foldable bike, strapping my schoolbag to the rear rack of the bicycle and allowing me to ride it across the park.

There was this one time where I fell after losing control going over a rut. Dad got pretty angry with me. It's all blurry in my mind, but there's one thing I remember clearly.

I never did get to ride the bike across the park after school anymore. Around that age I got my own foldable bike too, a nice 6-speeder decked out with a gear-shifter where you twist the handlebars like a motorbike throttle and smooth 20-inch wheels. Sadly I hardly got to ride it. No one to ride with. Pestered my dad to go bike riding with me but it hardly worked so I soon stopped asking.

Sometimes, I'm just amazed at how I got into cycling again despite my unhappy childhood experiences regarding it. Apart from the very rare occasions where I cycled with my friends using rental bikes and all, I never really picked up bicycling until I was about 18.

I went out for short cycling trips with a group of schoolmates and picked up cycling all over again. Bicycling never felt as liberating. I could pedal anywhere you like to, coast over to tranquil parks and reservoirs and lanes I'd never go to otherwise. It was also great to be able to disperse any angst and frustration into pedal energy.


So I cleaned up my foldable bike and rode it again, discovering the park connectors and the roads in my area. Put the camera into a bagpack and cycled all the way from Bishan to Changi, talking photos along the way. But it wasn't enough. I wanted the speed and efficiency that a 20-inch foldable with low gear ranges simply couldn't provide.


I decided to use my brother's bicycle (he hadn't used it in years) and clean and tune it up. Brought it to the shop to replace the seized pedals and too-short seatpost, and I was good to go. It was a cheap and ugly bicycle with primitive gear-shifting but it worked - barely at least.

Shortly gave up on it after too embarassing moments with friends where the chain simply decided to derail in bumpy areas. Sometimes it was just so frustrating, having so much I wanted to do on the bike - explore the offroad trails, cannonball up the steep slopes and get to faraway places without worrying about break-downs- but simply couldn't do.

Kept on begging my parents to give the go-ahead to get a shiny new high-end bike, similar to the one my friend G got. Can't forget the days G and I would pore over printed-out bicycle catalogues in the lecture theatre, oblivious to the drone of the lecturer and the mathematical equations projected onto the screen. Made the final and definite plans to get the bicycle the next weekend - a GT Avalanche 2.0 that retails for about $500.

That week also happened to be the week that a good friend died. The girl who made my 17th birthday magical, the first girl I had talked to when I entered junior college, the girl who rested her head on my shoulder and held my hand while the orientation group passed the night at East Coast Park.



Nothing could stop me from getting that bicycle on that Saturday. Not even the diarrhoea I had, not even the feeling of despondence of knowing that a girl I used to like was now dead. Despite feeling really unwell, I soldiered on and bought the bike and rode it back from Tampines to Bishan - with the company of 2 friends.

Naturally I vented all those negative vibes on my bicycle. Barelling up the hills, flying down the slopes. It was a great distraction from whatever negative thoughts I had, a getaway from my own mind.

So that was the story of how I got my current bike. But how did I stick on to the sport for more than 3 years and counting?

1. Cycling is theraputic
Cycling clears my mind. It gives me a feeling of liberation and freedom, being to go to almost any place I want to within the island without much difficulty. Places that roads don't go, places where you can ride for kilometres without meeting a single soul.

Exercise in any form also soothes the frazzled nerves and releases happy chemicals within the brain and cycling is no exception.

2. Cycling feeds my self-destructive streak
Obviously I wouldn't recommend reckless bicycling as a way to feed one's self-destructive streak, but that is what I end up doing.

Those who know me well would know my old self-destructive habits, which have gotten alot better ever since I had started bicycling. Instead, I seek thrill and excitement from bicycling situations where I'm put into mortal peril. Flying down hills at almost 50kmh while tailgating a bus, taking sharp left turns at high speed and almost losing control, taking liberties with traffic rules - stuff like that. I dunno if it's necessarily a good thing, but well, at least, the scars such activities leave are much more easily explainable.

Sometimes it really freaks me out thinking about the kinds of things I end up doing to feed this streak. I feel guilty as hell for doing such risky things to myself, but it's not really a choice of mine, it's sorta like an evil craving in me that I'm forced to feed.

3. Cycling is intellectual
Go into bicycling forums and what you see is a load of information on stuff like how to maintain your bike yourself. The bicycle is a machine that's really fun to figure out and to tune up. There's so much to learn - gear ratios, aerodynamics, body kinetics, springs and suspensions.

In addition, no other sport keeps in mind human physiology as much as bicycling does. There's so much information around regarding sport physiology and nutrition with a slant towards bicycling. Even runners don't have half as much intellectual discussion regarding human physiology and nutrition. Only in bicycle forums do people discuss stuff like glycogen metabolism in the muscles and the best fluids for rehydration in suh great detail. It's also no surprise that medical professionals are very highly represented in the bicycling demographic, simply because it's one sport that's so intellectual.

4. Cycling makes me strong
Cycling has made me so much stronger physically, nuff said. Few other sports reach the same intensities as cycling does. You'd know when you do your first ever standing hill-climb. The forces and energy required is simply mind-boggling. Of course, I'm proud to say that I've never felt as fit and healthy in the past as compared to now.

So that's the story of my passion in cycling and I hope you liked it.

Morning and feeling crappy already

Woke up at 7.30am and laid in bed for half an hour, just too lazy and down to get up. Hid my face in the pillow and bolster, not wanting anyone to see how terrible I felt.

Hauled my ass up from the bed and down the stairs.

Bike ride. Didn't go as fast as I wanted to. On my usual route, there's this long climb that I usually take at a hair above 20kmh but today I sorta burnt out halfway in the climb. Not a good thing.

Promised myself to be safe, but oh well, ended up challenging a doubledecker to overtake me when I was going at 37kmh, and also tailgating a WRX. I know it's super dangerous and I'm feeling guilty over it, but there's a part of me that seeks thrill through putting myself into potential mortal peril. It's sick. I dunno.

Reached home, surfed the STOMP forums for a while, but just feel too crappy to go on.

I dunno. I hope this evening's outing will cheer me up or something. For now, I just want to wallow in my own self pity by myself.

Think I'll lie down for a while.




Feeder - My Perfect Day
Got this dagger in my back
The blade inside me burning
Change these colours in my head
Turn to face the real thing
Prechorus:
So what about me? (I can't take it)
What I wan to be (I won't make it)
What about me? (I can't take it)
Hear me when I speak (I won't make it)

[Chorus:]
But sometimes I feel it, you know how it is
Wake up in the morning and everything fits
I'm still hoping tomorrow feels like this
My perfect day

Twist inside me, feel it break
The rubber band keeps turning
See the tracks worn in my face
Hallucinate, I'm burning

[Prechorus]

[Chorus]
My perfect day, my perfect day

[Bridge:]
I can't believe this anymore
I just don't see this anymore
I'm stepping out into the rain
Again

See my satellite in space
Sending back the weather
Try to find myself some space
Move on up the ladder

[Prechorus:]
(I can't take it)
It's what I wanna be? (I won't make it)
What about me? (I can't take it)
Hear me when I speak (I won't make it)

[Chorus]
My perfect day

[Chorus]
My perfect day, my perfect day

Blogger's block

Nothing to say, so, here's a random picture.

Please don't

Gotta keep my poetic brain cells going, and since I don't want to bore you out with yet another long entry, here goes something about my school life right now:

Please don't
Like running through the fog
not knowing where I'm going to.
The smirk on my face belies
the thorns that come bursting through.

Harshly-lit corridors.
Lifts that hardly appear.
Busy people.
Please don't say no.
Please don't.

Like a kid on a mission,
an agent undercover.
Gingerly stepping across
those ticking time bombs strewn all over.

Another phone call.
Schedules I have to change.
Deadlines on deadlines.
Please don't say no.
Please don't.

Like a beggar in the rain
shaking and freezing to the bone.
Please don't say no.
Please don't.

Wild Wednesday

Spent the whole morning sulking over that thorny tutorial issue, and the change in schedule of another tutorial. It's getting to me, having to coordinate all the tutorials and lessons and stuff. There was this senior consult who was poking fun at me when I didn't know the answer to his question. He said 'The group rep should be more intelligent you know.' Not that I take it to heart, but it's just frustrating yeah?

Not going for the afternoon lesson cause it's going to be rather pointless anyway, having been given similar teaching before in the elementary posting earlier in the year. So stayed at home and just surfed the net instead.

Good weather for a bike ride, but I just didn't want to tire myself out too fast. If I run and cycle in 2 consecutive days, I'd be bushed as hell the next day and'll have take a longer break in the end, so that's no point. And well, it's not good for the muscles.

Oh can I confess? Running ain't such a terrible exercise afterall. Really hated running relative to bicycling last time, but I sorta got used to it. But still had to pick up running cause I needed to cross-train to make me a better cyclist and to reduce the chance of injuries. Cycling too much without running gives me knee pain and kneecap instability cause of muscle imbalance.

Now I see the benefits of running. A quick, more intense workout that's alot easier to fit into one's schedule. It's also alot safer than jostling for space on the roads with the ten-tonne trucks!

Oh crap, I better keep it short cause it's going to be a really long entry. Fastforward to 3pm, decided to leave home early for 'Kate's-promotion party' since the silence at home was unbearable.

On the bus, I saw this short feature on this mocumentary called Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan and laughed out loud when I saw the clips from the movie they featured. I really hope the dirty and racist jokes do not get butchered by the local censors!



If you don't know who Borat is, Youtube, Bittorrent, beg, borrow, steal some Ali G episodes! You won't regret it.

"My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute." - Borat

Went to Orchard, just walked around that area with that tutorial scheduling problem on my mind. No matter how, toes are going to be stepped on, people will be unhappy. I just can't find a good way to settle that issue!

Gave up on mulling over a problem I can't solve anyway, and went to drown my sorrows in the books in Kinokuniya.

Nick Hornby has a new book: Housekeeping vs Dirt, another non-fiction work in the same vein of 31 Songs, but about the books he read instead. Although I really love his fiction, this new book is sorta dry .

Browsed through Train Man, a Japanese chronicle of a romance between a shy guy and a girl she had saved from a drunkard. It's in internet-forum style, complete with ASCII art and stuff, so it's sorta unreadable. It's like some really big fad in Japan, complete with manga and movie, so I hope I'll get to see other forms of it, as the book itself's so unreadable.

Went upstairs to Orchard Library. And guess what - after looking for 2 bicycling books for months, I finally found both of them today! Yayness! Just what I need to kickstart my enthusiam after the extremely sad offroad experience I had a few weeks ago at BT.



Read through some Simpsons comics and a few pages of Sandman (still hate it, too pretentious and arty-farty) and also lots of magazines there too. Never noticed it but Spin magazine is actually quite a good read, featuring lotsa alt rock and indie music without putting on any pretentions airs (as in, as opposed to Pitchforkmedia).

Headed outside and popped into the Lego store out of curiosity, the Spongebob magnets were so cool, I just had to buy them! The staff there were really quite helpful and all, giving me a huge plastic bag for my library books.




Walked around the departmental store part of Takashimaya and looked at tie clips. Why are they so expensive? Didn't want to buy one in the end but the super friendly promotor insisted on showing me a blue tie and one of the tie clips. Had to politely decline.

Decided to get the armpouch for my phone afterall. I can't afford being uncontactable when I go out for runs. Should anything happen, I need to be summoned, especially if there's an emergency at home. It matters because with my education and all I probably should be able to do quite alot should anything happen. Sales assistant at Royal Sporting House there wasn't too friendly though, she was more concerned with an urgent phone call and just dumped my change into my hands and went off.



Went to Gramophone to look if there's any new music. Instead of those CD-changer sampling booths they're using iPods instead, which I thought to be a brilliant idea. They're prolly cheaper, hold more music and have the chic factor to it.

Met Ryan, then hanged out for a while before heading to Centrepoint! Kate's 'promotion-party'!

Atually it's a surprise birthday party for Kelvin! But it's a pity he ain't feeling too well. Whole thing was wonderful. Pizza, cake, and we gave him this really cool Adidas watch! Seems like Kate has been doing her sleuthing and found out exactly what he wanted! Kelvin was indeed totally suprised and overwhelmed, but so glad he liked it!


We totally surprised him with this cake!


The pizza we shared!


The watch!

Can't help but to reminisce about my magical 17th birthday last time, which was probably as magical to me as Kelvin's is to him. But oh well, the person who made it all so special isn't around anymore. Sigh.

Anyway, today was fun! Love it! Hmm I had better learn some new adjectives to describe good things!

Alot more photos but I haven't postprocessed and sorted them out yet!

Arrghhhhhh

I feel so guilty.

I had the responsibility entrusted (actually, more like forced) unto me and I messed it up.

I hope they don't kill me tomorrow.

Phone's ringing like crazy since yesterday, had school till 10pm yesterday and I just got so much to juggle. Panic!

Think I gonna breathe into a paper bag or something!