School

isn't going all that great. Long hours are my pet peeve, and those 12-hour and 14-hour days aren't doing me any good.

Sure, there's alot of teaching going on. But it's irks me that I do not have the kind of indomitable enthusiasm that my classmates have.

Oh well, at least there are happy moments in the Emergency Department. Thursday, and 2 female patients walked out of the critical care area (usually for patients who need urgent resus and such) smiling and happy, because their irregularly-beating hearts suddenly decided to become alright again.



And 4pm days (on paper) that end at 8pm. Got pretty frustrated at the fact that due to the schedule, I no longer get to have any decent amount of time that I can call my own.

And when you know, when you're working so closely with the same people conflicts are bound to happen. There are classmates who act like they're some bigshots, there are classmates who pounce on every hands-on opportunity, hardly giving anyone else a chance to learn, and there are classmates who crash other shift slots, displacing people outta tutorials and stuff.

Oh well. I feel lost and invisible there. I'm suspecting my classmates have sorta given up trying to talk to me, knowing that my approach to academic issues is rather unorthodox. It's like, when I try to chip in an idea, I get interrupted all the time like my ideas don't matter at all.

I might as well stay silent.



When I'm stuck in the lecture room for hours, too tired to absorb any morsels of factiods, too frustrated to stay calm, sometimes the most comforting thing is to tear stuff up. Used N95 masks in this case.

Actually I got nothing much to blog about except for my poor self pity. That's all that had been happening in my stupid boring life the past 2 weeks.

What's there to be happy about or to live for?