Life Becoming a Landslide

And it's becoming more and more clear.

Life, ya know. It isn't really my kinda thing. I mean look at it. We all want to achieve and do well and be happy. That's like 100% of the world.

And achievement is defined by the normal curve. When you define success, you define failure too. Not everyone succeeds.

And what's the point of life if one grows old and dies as a lowly worker whose ambitions to be a great author had never happened. There he is, taking the early bus to work just like he'd been doing for the past 4 decades, so jaded at the world he doesn't give a damn if anyone stares at him for digging his nose with his pinkie.

I don't have what it takes to be successful. I don't have what it takes to be happy. I'd fail anyway. Why do I even bother?

Last night I had a compelling urge to end it all. But it isn't good enough. I'd be doing my education and intelligence an injustice if I don't even know how to die cleanly and successfully. Tactics, comrades, tactics!