Pattern Against User

Shits, I'm subconsciously naming every blog entry with a song title, the same way Mexcel does.

After so many years that Blogger had implemented titles for entries, I still find it superfluous. For most people, a personal blog is in many ways a journal/diary and you don't really give names to your days right? Other than the obligatory day/month/year of course. And if you're Bridget Jones, your weight/cigarettes smoked/booze chugged/times jilted.

So, why bother with titles. Just fill up with the most convenient pretentious arty-farty phrase, and that usually means a song title.

Pattern Against User is by At The Drive-In, a 2000 indie metal band which had reached critical acclaim but not much popularity. Used to REALLY like it as an angsty 16 year old. How can anyone not like such a frantic and powerful work?

At The Drive-In split in the middle in 2001, producing The Mars Volta and Sparta. Never really was into them though.

==

Monday wasn't that bad. Somehow the lucky stars were shining extra brightly, and despite being totally un-fucking-prepared for the attachment, I came out only lightly seared at the edges, not charbroiled or flame-grilled.

And I got 3 of the mini evaluations completed in a day, and I'm supposed to do 4 every week (other groups with other mentors are having to do 2 for a total of 3 weeks, as opposed to 12 for mine so that's totally unfair.)

Let's just say that the day's work was slimy, moist and sometimes fungal.

==

First night and I'm supposed to stay till late already. Actually, being the pessimistic me, I'd have figured that the worst would happen anyway, and when it happens, I don't feel too bad about it.

One of life's precious lessons. Imagine the worst case scenario. Then let the mind wander and imagine all the worst possible outcomes and scenarios. Then accept that reality would be even worse than the nastiest we can ever imagine.

And when the shit really hits the fan, you won't feel too bad if it splatters back into your face.

Actually, to be honest, I was looking forward to the night attachment. It legitimises my no-show at the clinic. At least, to my own conscience. Yay. I still feel like being an asshole for taking them all for a ride and wasting their time. Yes. The irresponsible, selfish KC actually does feel bad about that, no matter how unbelievable!

==

Long days make me cranky, and after raiding the fridge for any semblance of food (being on your feet the whole day makes one hungry), I caught up with things in my little online world, and fell asleep on the chair, totally exhausted. Jerked awake, switched off the lights, and of to a deep slumber. I'm not waking for school. I need the sleep. And the reading up.

I wish I had the energy that my classmates do/

I wish I had the determination of those pale, cachexic ones that look like they had spent their previous years battling their own cancer and COPD, and are now battling the indomitable syllabus. They never seem to need food/water/sleep/etc. And they do well in school. True, they have no life and they have no vitamin D, but aren't they happy doing what they do?

==

I need a social life. Or at least people to catch up on movies with. WTF I have a Transformers keychain but I've yet to watch the movie.

Maybe I should eat humble pie and go watch movies by myself or something. Why hurt myself trying to find people to be with and all, when it's easier to just concede that I'd fail anyway, and watch the movies myself anyway?

At least I'd get to watch the movie.