(Thinking up titles is hard to do)

Day, Tuesday. And so after the Panel of Educated, Informed and Unbiased Jurymen had voted, it seems that an expert opinion is needed.



So off to the university clinic, on a bus that weaved through the traffic jam like a blunt needle through denim. Then on another bus with crappy rebound damping that sent me pogoing every time it went down from a bump.

==

In a previous episode of Agents Are Go: gonococcus had been having what is called hypnagogic hallucinations.

Actually it's not something new. About a year ago, he started hearing some muffled unintelligible voices just before falling asleep, maybe just once or twice a month. Especially after a long hard day of toiling at a...... computer game.

But lately, well, it's been getting more frequent. Once a week, then now, alternate days. And the unintelligible voices have revealed their true identities. They're a comedian duo, who loves to make snide remarks at every thought of the mind they reside in.

They'd rather remain anonymous, but them parasites sound surprisingly alike, and have a penchant of jeering the host with regards to his intelligence.

They shout out random, irrelevant words unexpectedly. They have a particular liking for words that start with 'S', such as 'stupid'. I wonder.

I'm not totally freaked out by them. I know they're not real. In fact, they aren't even voices voice. Imagine thinking out loud, except very LOUD. That's what they are. And I know what they're saying aren't really my true thoughts, and I never get them mixed up.

So they don't affect me that much. Except on some days they refuse to let me sleep. Fortunately, plugging in earphones and playing some music helps loads.

But you see, it's a cause for worry, cause it's a form of psychosis, and as any medic would know, psychosis is A Bad Thing. Although my age puts me right smack into schizophrenia-land, it's quite unlikely, as I've nothing to suggest it. Depression complicated with psychosis, well, if I look at it from a cooly logical point of view, that's more likely.

==



Classmate JS said that I should wear Nike to inspire me not to chicken out. ("Just do it!")

==

So me and my 2 other voices made our way to the university clinic.



Panic at the disco! Ok, maybe not, it's just panic. The 'what-ifs' flooded my mind in droves. But I knew I had to do it, because I had already made my choice when I was calmer, and I trust my calmer self. And if I really panicked that badly, I would stare at my feet, and I would see the Nike logo and remember 'just do it!'. OK, that was corny, it didn't actually happen.

Registered with a surly clerk. Then they had to weigh me, it's routine. And yay, I've shaved off 17 fucking kgs since I had last got weighed there!

Waited for the my turn, heartbeat racing, panicking. Majorly. Not as bad as to resort to corniness like looking at my Nikes though.

==

Saw this doc walk out of the door for a while. OMG that's the one I saw the other time. He looked at me funny. Why? I dunno. He prolly didn't recognise me from the other time so that's weird.

Panic!

==

My number flashed on that LED display thingie. Went into the room. And lo and behold it's the same guy. In retrospect, it's sorta better that way cause I'd mentally prepared and all, and knew the kinds of questions he would ask.

Started telling my story. And then as he wasn't that sure what exactly I had (indeed, it's a pretty unusual and undocumented situation) he pulled out this folder from the shelf.

It's labelled Psychiatry, and the pages are so yellow and the font so old-fashioned it looks like it was printed in the days of frontal lobotomies and insulin coma therapy.

He couldn't claim to be sure how to deal with me, so I was scheduled for a referral. Though he thinks I'm sorta depressed or sth. But I think it's more of a likely guess rather than a 'I'd wager 10 bucks over this'.



So here's how it works. NUS students pay $60 an academic year as a healthcare/insurance kinda plan. And in order to curb defaulted appointments (they are wasted manpower), I've to pay a $10 deposit which would be forfeited if I don't turn up.

Oh well. At least, this is progress and everything sorta went smoothly.

==



Next stop. Sim Lim Square. My brother and I BOTH lost our USB flash drives, so I had to get at least 1 new one for the both of us.



Got a microSD card along the way. I'm expecting to take ALOT of photos for the Hong Kong trip, and this one's for my mom to use in the camera (she won't need the speed of full-sized SD cards). After all, it never hurts to have more memory to use for my DS flashcart, or for a future mobile phone.

==

Central National Library! Had to borrow Hong Kong guidebooks (or I'd have to buy them ugh) and they were out of them back in Bishan.



Bumped into classmate J (OK this initials system is getting lame, because there are so many 'classmate J's around and it'll just confuse both you and me, but in the name of privacy....sigh.) who was there to borrow some comics and graphics novels. Sadly, it's the June school holidays, and the shelves were literally (haha, bad pun) cleared out.

Found my way back home, and well, the rest of the day was just another day plastered in front of the computer and the DS.



Seriously considering getting a Canon A710 IS (woot, Image Stabilisation for my caffeine-shaken hands) and passing the Canon A520 I have to my mom.



I'd talk about the Hong Kong trip preparations and all by the end of the week!