How to live DESPITE school

So. Today's a monday. And Monday means school. There's this mock-presentation lecturish thingie today, and attendance is compulsary.

Dammit.

==

The raw truth is - us students are smart enough to choose what lessons are worthwhile and what are not. And the stark reality is, we can't choose because the teachers and the parents don't believe us.

And so it means, every morning, thousands upon thousands of students are dragged along to school by their parents, students are kept in class by teachers with seemingly good intentions, students force themselves out of bed early just to attend lessons just for that attendance record. From kids freshly from kindergarten, to university students, to postgraduate students clocking in their coursework hours.

Let's be frank. Much of school doesn't matter. The teachers take full hours just to teach silly concepts that can be understood in minutes just by reading the textbook in the comfort of your own bed. And by drawing up florid diagrams and curly scribbles on the board, they feel like they're doing a great service educating the students.

But seriously, you mean you do pay attention to all the lessons in school? Bet not. But somehow, we're all stuck in school because we have to. Because our parents will scream bloody murder otherwise. Because the teachers will give us bad remarks. Because of detention. Because of peer evaluations. Because of quotas to meet. How then do we cope with this absurd reality?



1. In lectures, every second counts
Lectures are precious. Where else can you find such huge chunks of time where you are not expected to play an active role in your education? I'm not telling you to pay attention to the lecture. I'm telling you to:

1. take a quick glance at the lecture notes. You'll probably see that you already know 60% of the stuff, and the 30% of the stuff can be read yourself, and that remaining 10% is just pure junk that's way beyond your syllabus

2. now that you're convinced that you don't have to listen to the lecture, double-convince yourself by doing one of the example questions (if any) in the lecture notes

3. if you're sleepy, take a good nap

4. if you're bored, pick up your phone, send the messages to your friends you've been planning to, play that game you uploaded onto your phone, or stealthily read the comic book tucked into your thick textbook. But before you use your phone, MAKE SURE IT IS IN SILENT MODE.

5. if you're really bored, turn around, and play paper games with your classmate. Some games are better than others. A game of Win Lose or Draw would work, so would hangman or simply writing a story by having one player write just 1 word on the paper and asking the next player to continue it with another word and so on.

6. lectures are when you're with your classmates. Make full use of the time and catch up with them, discuss the latest movies and even pore over product catalogues or magazines together.

7. if you can sneak out without getting caught, run some errands. Get the stationery you're planning to get from the bookstore, grab a snack, go to the library and borrow a book, empty your bladder.

8. and if you're the studious kind, just shut out what the lecturer is saying, and get on with your own homework/revision/etc. it's way more effective that way.

2. In practical sessions, get the maximum enjoyment
1. Remember your childhood.

2. What would the 8 year-old you do in the lab?

3. Now take out the metre rules and play Luke vs Darth, take out the 2-volt lead acid cells, short the wire across the terminals and have fun poking your friends with the blisteringly-hot wire. Or mix up a concoction of chemicals that resembles blood, then scare your squeamish class monitor. Or carve funny faces in the leftover potatoes from the experiment.

4. No matter what, remember that Biology teachers do not condone conducting your own practical experiments for the 'Human Reproduction' module.


3. Tutorials are mini stand-up comedies
1. Some examples:
"KC where is your Chemistry homework?" "My dog ate my homework."

"Can you tell me why an intermedullary rod is used in the internal fixation of a femoral shaft fracture?" "Can I poll the audience? Or call a friend?"

"Describe what you see in this X-ray" "This is a black-and-white X-ray. There is a black blob here, and another white blob below, uhhhh.... I think this black blob is normal but the white blob is not normal. There is also a greyish blob somwhere...."

2. Sometimes you do have to do your homework first. But often, sitting next to a friend who does his work regularly helps alot. And if you're desperate enough: if the teacher is explaining question 7, do question 8 just so that you get away scot-free should he ask you for question 8 right after that. Works wonders sometimes. Hey, we do have to clock in some practice sometime afterall eh?

==



So, back to my Monday. It was a very productive lecture. I revised a ton of statistics, I went down to the library to borrow a couple of books for my brother, I kept in contact with my friends, I confirmed that the exam timetable was reverted back to old (no more 1-week reduction in study time!), I took a very short nap, and I was making snide remarks about the evil professor who kept on insisting on having the students' presentation tweaked to his liking (down to the exact font size and wording) and made a few messages on my phone and discussed some plans and all with a friend.



Oblivious to the bitching and moaning professor. I think he has some degree of obsessive compulsive disorder - I commented that his shirt was unusually-well-pressed, my friend commented that he probably just started his workday, that asshole, and I recalled the time he made a no-show for a tutorial and was still at home during the scheduled tutorial time, thus disproving my theory.

That's my productive school day.



Went home with my friend (via the shutle service to Bukit Timah Campus, had to take a long walk up a hill to get to the bus) and it dropped me off in the middle of nowhere, had to take yet another long walk before I found the old familiar bus service 74.