Bumper entry

So it's after midnight now, which makes it Sunday. I have a lot to catch up with here.

Rewind 2 days before today. That's Friday. Friday started another depressing day. I've come to detest the sight of my groupmates. Apparently they've taken the military's advise pretty well - rush to wait, wait to rush. I wanted to stick around the team we bumped into to learn more about the condition a patient had but the other two simply decided to rush off for something else. What for? I dunno.

I'm starting to take a stand these days, I'm not rushing off with them if I don't see the need to. I'm not going to run - run, as in to ambulate oneself by rapid movement of limbs - across the wards and end up in a near-collision with a nurse with a blood pressure machine, the way they did on Friday.

I'm sorry I have to rant so much about this issue, but it's been affecting me for tens of hours every week, and it's sending my heart rate up and making me extremely miserable.

And after another stupid Friday I went home and had a quick bath before plonking myself down on a seat of the bus to meet my secondary school classmates. It's a gathering of sorts - not everyone's going to be there, but it's a great attempt.

Meeting up with my old friends felt really good, as opposed to the background of stress and isolation I've been experiencing lately. I felt happy like a little boy.

This is the real thing. A real friendship, the kind where you're not afraid to be yourself. And you don't owe them anything. And they don't owe me anything.

The kind of accquaintances that I've been with lately, it's a sham. Often they want something from me they don't have. But those secondary school mates I have, they stuck to me even when I was the moody and unreasonable person I was then. Now I still make it a point to return this favour, to pay it forward.

Did I tell you? I felt happy like a little boy. The food wasn't great there in Marche Suntec City. But I was having a hell of a time - just being with the people who matter to me.

And I didn't know how I should be feeling - happy because I'm now convinced that the friendships won't end anytime soon? Or sad knowing that I have missed having them around the past few years? And they have their own lives. And I have my own miserable situations to contend with.

Ultimately, the thing that stings is that, it's never the same anymore.